Lily of the Valley

Am I @ fault?

It's been a while that I've blogged at this site... Most of the time, I'm blogging for my mousey.

Well, what's make me turn to here was because of someone... I've been tolerating all these till today, I need a revenue to vent this unhappiness out. I need to let out.

Year 1 had passed very well, not much expectations, not much problem... just work and work and work and delivered, delivered and delivered. The most challenging part was the trust and agreement. I remembered that I consulted her on the rotation before implementation. She agreed and I ran the show. But was backfired by staff... I understand where they had come from, but such rating from staff became my problem. And the reasons given was I didn't manage them well... I was shocked as I had sought her advice before implementation. You mean you aren't at fault too??? I was disappointed by that comment and felt unhappy but I just moved on

Out of the bluemoon, she found fault at the way I managed the team. Well, she commented how come I didn't ask "this" for lunch... I mentioned not that I didn't, I asked almost everytimes, but "this" rejected. What can I do? Dragged him, use a knife and point at him or MADAM asked me to ask you out for lunch!!!! Funny right and then she blamed me not able to manage the staff.. I almost fainted on this comments.

Next incident was she wanted to treat the team and asked me to organise and to combine my session with her... I was like no lor...I treated my team with my own $$ and I'm sincere and then when she knew about that, she said I didn't respect her. I was like ok... that's what you think then fine lor...

Again she found fault at work again.. She decided on something and then asked me why I did it in this way, I said this was discussed and agreed. And she mentioned that "NO" and luckily, I had emails backup of such correspondences and sent it back to her to mention this was agreed. She couldn't stand of my defensive attitude and instructed me to hold a meeting to discuss on this. I did it and took all the blame as she thought it was my fault. No point arguing with her.

Out of no where, she started her PMS again. This times, she blamed me not for not handhelding the situation as a team lead. I was like har... the last minutes changes etc and any other arrangements were already made beforehand, this last minutes changes that the team not able to deliver last minutes wasn't my fault... I couldn't ask them to give it to me within that 12 hours which we planned like 2 weeks. Such requests and not managing well became my problem.

I was totally upset over her unreasonable incidents and yet she gave me such a grade and put blame on me for the team management expectation not met, not well managed. All these actions, I consulted her before action, did it mean she's a poor organiser too. Shouldn't she be blamed for what I had produced and done???

I was utimately disappointed with her twice... And all these because of 1 person...I already told her I couldn't manage and need her guidance but she didn't even display/set an example to me... How am I suppose to learn from her.

I didn't support her but however she got the title. She is blessed because she has a good boss who can coach and guide her but not for me.

People around me knows what happened and they know me, they couldn't believe or hear what she commented and talked to me. I told them, you know me, you gaged me... Am I such a person as what she commented or complaint?

She always got staff problem, and she complaints to HR... So even moving on another team, she's still have staff problem... so the problem is with her or with me?

I was really upset with her since a year ago... She wasn't like this... I was disappointed and saddened by her every move and reaction. She had destroyed me totally and I told myself, one day, the same will happen to her.. The world is round, what you did to me will happen to you one of these days...

Till today, I still find myself very unhappy for what she had done and I really felt it's not my fault, even it's my fault, you shall guide and coach me instead expecting me to achieve to her expectation.

I take this place to vent this frustration as I want to move on... and I've no regrets moving on because the way I had been treated and I had seen enough of this place, politics, people not responsible, blaming culture and not willing to take on... This is definitely not the place I want to continue...

Anyway, I'm so happy now after venting out here and CLOSED CASE!!!!

My birthday with Mousey Daddy and BB

It's my Birthday again... This year is a special one to me, 'cos of BB mouse... Didn't really yield for anything special... but wishes BB mouse stays healthy forever and all people around me to stay healthy and happy.

Started my birthday morning with a great brunch of roti prata @ Casuarina. After that, we went to Thomson Plaza to get the toilet seat... :) Happened to bump into his relatives, luckily didn't ask anything, Daddy mouse said BB mouse must have called all the relatives out this weekend...'cos we bumped into one of his cousins yesterday too...

BB mouse and Mummy snake took a great nap before going out... We are going for the Singapore Flyer @ 4:30pm, followed by a sumptuous dinner @ the GreenHouse @ Ritz Carlton...

We enjoyed the Singapore Flyer... Actually hor, nothing special... but it's the experience lor...
After which, we took a walk back to Marina before having our dinner...

Think some big shots' children having a wedding @ Ritz Carlton... tightly secured and patrolled by many many officers... Wow!

We had a wonderful dinner @ the GreenHouse... BB mouse enjoyed the meats very much... ate and ate and ate... I got a surprise too from GreenHouse. They brought in a slice of cake and sang me a Happy Birthday song... :) Blush Blush...

The dinner was so good that BB mouse ate till I want to vomit... Too filled and too much... Anyway, no worries, we wasted no food by not vomitting... :)

It's really a special day with not much to think of...

This year, I don't expect much... I also don't know what I want... thus, ended up with vouchers, vouchers and cash... I think will help when I start to shop for stuffs for BB mouse in July/August... :)

Anyway, I really enjoyed my special day especially with Daddy and BB mouse... :) Thank You!

After so long

I know that I've been missing from the blog for quite long... Am now doing a summarised update what had happened...


November was the most busiest month... Roadshows had kept my team worked like mad... Endless sleepless nights just to ensure the 2-days roadshow a success...

November was also the month where my 2 new managers came onboard... At last, I could hand over the projects to them and concentrated on managing and bringing the department up... But there's always a learning curve... :


November was also the month to start budgeting for next FY and also planning to utilise what left for this year... Really big headache with budget projected... Too much, too much... don't know where to spend...


December was a pretty quiet period... Of course, still headache over budget and managing my new Director who had came onboard in late November... However it's a month of thanks and giving... We spent our year end @ Conrad and had our countdown @ Ritz Carlton... I made a wish, a wish to come true...


January was a busy month again... New year, new projects and new VP too.... More loads on my plate to manage the department 'cos of the new expectation from the new VP... STRESS! I embarked on a new journey too... A journey that I felt I would not regret but to work towards it...


February, March and April, am away from office most of my time... Tired and tired.... and more resting...


That's what happened...

What had happened...

It been a real long time I’ven’t taken a peep here and left my thoughts here… It has been rather busy lately, and phew, times just flew past and now already mid of Nov….

Time over here really flew past without giving me a chance to breath… Frankly speaking, it had been tough few months especially for the transition of staffs over my end. And am looking forward to the new team coming Monday.

Talked about staff, it does pissed me at times, REALLY, don’t know how to say, if you can comment others so free, laughing and joking, look at yourself 1st, you too, are doing the same. Even so free till you can go around gossiping. So what, you are someone’s pet dog (a name that one of my staff gave), tried harder to complaint, tried harder to do this and that… I won’t give a damn to it.

I yet to receive the “new” yet… It been a really tough few months waiting and waiting… Am telling myself, I shall give up but then, I felt very sad on giving up half way. I’ll persevere on and I glad Grace had advised me to persevere on too… I already had given up the thoughts to think about it now. I just let it be…

Life still goes on, I’ve been rather positive now. No worries, I glad my boss is decisive and fast as compared to my previous, it really a heaven and an earth… So differences, someone that can advise, provide guidance and not someone uses her mouth only… Not sure is she still the same.

I do miss my ex-colleagues and glad we tried to keep in touch with each other as much as possible. Some even pop by to have lunch with me… I felt so touched. I’m still waiting for another group of my ex-colleagues to pop by and have a real talkative and gossip session. I really misses those juicy stories…Evil grins (hey, if you are reading this, you know who am I referring to)

Well, I guess that’s all I want to share at the moment….

Am looking forward to the new challenges and the good new soon…

After some times.

It's been a while that I've blogged. Been really tied down by the new job. It's not easy for sure but I do enjoy the work.

Re-org the department, having personal session with staffs, abolished the timesheet, amend the monthly report, recruitment of new managers and more and more...

I start my day with meetings and end my day with meeting. There's a lot to learn and I don't deny, learning and picking all systems in few months is not easy. Maybe things wasn't that right at the 1st place.

I can say it's tired, it's making my head go spinning... I wish I can be an octopus and more times for me...

I'm still trying to find time to do my own things... Yes.. like blogging and surfing...

I'm just looking forward to my day at work... Everyday seems like a battle field for me... but I can make it. It's definitely better than my previous organisation.

One more month to go and the team will be better.

As for personal, there's no result at the moment. Am still waiting for this special day.. Am waiting for the news... I hope and I keep praying... Have my prayer been answered???

Life goes on... days passes really fast... I'm looking forward for the better, that's for SURE!

31st July 2007

Unofficially, I left the organisation on 31st July, in actual fact, my official last day is 15th Aug... I glad I left the place with the happiness, blessing and joy from my colleagues.

Guess till the day I tendered my notice to the last day of my service, "She" didn't even bother to come by and have a chat with me... "She" is afraid I guess, afraid I comment on her. Yeh, I'll if I had given the opportunity... "She" knows I'll be very direct if I want do... On my last day, "she" reported sick... OMG!

During my last 2 weeks in the organisation, I was really packed with lunch appointments with colleagues and gifts too. I guess my popularity is not that bad afterall... I practically having lunch till my last day... I didn't have lunch with her 'cos I was really fully booked so "she" suggested to get me a gift... A soft toy dog... (when I heard from my colleague, I rolled my eyes)... Luckily I told my colleague what I wished to have... if not, I guess I will throw the gift to a corner of the store-room. It's not I don't appreciate the gift but the thoughts of it like as though I'm still a little kid... and just because I got so many soft toys doggies in my cubicle, doesn't mean I really love to have another one... of course, it's must be from someone I like and adore, not from her lor...

The notice of my departure was sent to everyone in the organisation (it's a common practice by HR) and I was shocked to received some emails and it's from the top management. They personally dropped me an email to wish me all the best in my endeavours and to keep in touch! I was really touched by some of them although I didn't really have the opportunity to work with them. Well, top management from other department can do that, how come my own bosses ("He" and "She") can't.

I don't feel regards leaving here. Guess I appreciated and saw how ones run a department, I, for sure, will not follow suits.

The right move and offer

The package offered getting bigger and more responsibilities... Urgently and desperately wanting me to join them soon... I can't wait to join them too.. but I've to be responsible, to give a month notice. It's a tough decision to make on the spot that day, I consulted my sis, my hubby, my dearest friends, dearest ex and current colleagues.

I felt quite in a dilemma mood... I don't want to hurt my RO, she's really a wonderful lady and we do love working together but for once, I've to be selfish, for my future career, I need to do that...

I reached home around 10pm... Surf the net, have a good bath... and at 11:15pm... I made that move. I submitted at 11:30pm (auspicious time)... Zoom...

I immediately messaged my RO and told her I'll chat with her tomorrow. I also messaged my closest colleagues and then I switched off my mobile.

I slept through the night without waking up... Was a wonderful and peaceful night... For once...

The next day, no one is the office.. except 4423... We chatted and unfortunately caught by 1158...

I had a good talk with my RO, telling her the truth why I want to move. Leader is my main problem and of course I'll have no market value if I do stay any longer.

Surprisingly, 4423 told me something unexpected... 1158 in a way interrogated 4423, "did you help Lily to find a job"... 4423 was shocked at the way 1158 asked. OMG... what a S***!

You inteprete the rest of the story yourself.

My intepretation of this leader:
(a) insecure
(b) unstable
(c) lousy
(d) porcelain
(e) brainless
(f) pretty (but only for a period)
(g) baby-sitter
(h) yaya-papaya (damn damn damn)
(i) "And so" & "And then"
(j) a "No No" person with "No No" direction
(k) and the list goes on...

Hai... really sad about this, a leader can cause problem to a department.. I hope myself will not be like that... being a leader leading a team... I hope I won't have any bad footsteps of her to bring along...

But I will definitely miss all my dearest colleagues here....Sob Sob